I cycle a fair amount these days. I live in Sonoma County, and it is beautiful. Most of the time the weather suits cycling. I like riding out in West County, which is rural and lovely. I like to find a good climb so that I get the best work out for time invested. When I reach the top of my ride, I always stop to take in the view of the valley and the hills that are between me and the ocean. It is a very solitary moment. As I did that today, I couldn't help but reflect on my new life of solitude, one void of my Karen. It is very, very different (pardon me while I crunch on some Cheetos I shouldn't be eating). I am now used to this solitude. I don't mind. I had an amazing marriage that had fireworks finales on such a regular basis and I would be a spoiled brat to whine about not having that anymore. Being a widower is like being in a car: things behind you fade into the distance and become more difficult to see. Like a car, nobody drives in reverse.
Comments