I had to clean the front porch. Painful. Painful because that was my Beloved's place of refuge. I live in a mobile home park, and the view is less than magnificent. Karen loved to be outside though, so I had enclosed it and filled it with flowering plants. I built her a fountain, so she could hear the water trickling down through it and look at flowers while she was outside. Fourteen months since she left me here, so it has gone that long neglected. That fountain has never been run since she left. So what's the new trick? What I once called "Grief Buttons" I now see as land mines. You just have to be careful not to step on them. That porch has a lot of memories of her, the kind that make my eyes begin to water. Call me a sissy, but I just don't want to have those memories get to me. There's enough pain living without her, so I'm not partial to inviting more.
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