I have a saying: empathy has an expiration date. Living life without your spouse can be confusing because of this. It is a constant theme in my experience that one becomes alone in two ways. The obvious one is that you are a party of one. The other is that you become the only one who is deeply aware that you spouse is gone. For a while, everyone is there for you, worrying about you. That stops.
I think this is a helpful approach to being a widow(er). It is your
life ratio. For me that is 36:1. Thirty six years of life together, one year of being alone. Thirty six years of sharing my bed with my wife, of kissing her each day, of driving places together, of sharing with her my joys and my frustrations and listening to hers, of cooking for someone, of making plans together, of watching a movie together, of sharing laughter. One year alone. If you consider the ratio, it makes "living in the past" a lot more reasonable.
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